CHOSEN

Alli's Story - Part 2

If you haven't read part 1, click here to read "Meant to be Ours".

We started the adoption process in May 2011.  I won't bore you with the details of classes, paperwork, background checks, references, etc. It is a very intense process and one I'm not excited to complete again.  We were fairly quick with the entire process and 4 months later we were approved to adopt!  In July 2011 we finally told our families about what we had been experiencing the past few years.  Paul and I had been very quiet in our struggle and our families were completely unaware of what was happening.  We made the following video to tell them:



It's not professional, but it was how we were feeling at the time.  There were many tears and lots of questions, but everyone was extremely happy for us.  Then the waiting began.  I thought infertility was difficult.  Waiting for an expectant mom to choose us was torture.  Looking back, we were so lucky.  We were chosen in just 7 months.  But at the time, I didn't know how I would make it from day to day.

We were contacted in February 2012 by one of Paul's friends on Facebook (she was actually his girlfriend from high school).  She asked if we were still interested in adopting and if so, she had someone she would like to send our information to.  Paul emailed her back and said we were definitely interested and asked her to have the expectant mom look at our blog.  This was on a Friday and we waited and waited and waited for word.  FINALLY (it really wasn't that long, but it felt like an eternity) on Monday we got a very short email from our now birth mom that said, "I don't want to rush into any decision, but I do think it's important we talk to each other.  So let me start by saying, Hi, I'm "E".  This began the beginning of a very wonderful relationship.  We couldn't email back and forth enough.  We wanted to learn everything about her and she wanted to know everything about us.  We were new at this and didn't want to offend her, so it took us a few weeks before we even asked when her due date was!  On March 26, she sent us a picture of the ultrasound and told us she was having a boy!  At this point, Paul and I were cautiously optimistic that this would be our son.  We both felt complete peace and we loved "E" so much already.

On March 28, we got an email from "E".  She usually didn't send an email in the middle of the day, so I was instantly nervous.  Then she started the email, "I don't think this is the best way to tell you,".  My heart sank.  I was devastated.  I just knew she had chosen another family.  Then the next line said that she'd been getting to know us for quite some time and had grown to care for us.  I'll be honest, it still sounded like she was going to "break up" with us.  I hurried and scanned the email as quick as I could.  I stopped reading and started crying uncontrollably when I read this sentence, "I would love for you guys to adopt my baby boy and be the parents that he deserves".  I couldn't believe it.  Now that I knew it was good news, I went back through and read the whole email.  It was so sweet and loving.  I called Paul immediately and asked him if he'd read his email.  He was all choked up and I could tell he was crying.  He left work instantly and hurried home so we could celebrate together.  While I was waiting for him, I just sat in a daze for awhile.  I felt different.  The word "son" took on a whole new meaning and it didn't seem to make sense anymore.  I was going to be a mom!!  I started to compose our response email to "E", which was extremely difficult.  What can you possibly say that would be as good as the gift she was giving us?  I just pretended she was sitting next to me and wrote back all the emotions and feelings I had.  I wanted to meet her in person and hug her and tell her how much I loved her!  I wanted her to know that we would take care of her precious little boy and he would always know how much his birth mom loves him.

Our announcement to our friends and family

Although we were so excited, we knew that our happiness was a result of another woman's sacrifice.  A woman we loved very much.  That's the thing about adoption.  The greatest moments of our life were the hardest moments of "E"'s.  We felt her pain and sadness through our happiness.  Although she said she was at peace with her decision, I knew the pain wasn't completely gone and I knew we still had a very exciting, but hard day ahead of us.

To Read Part 3, Becoming Mom, click here.