Taking the Plunge

Many times in our lives we are asked the question in some form or another "how many kids will you have?" You think about it a lot when you're growing up, you talk about it when you're dating someone seriously or when you get engaged, you get asked that question when you are newly married. My answer was always four. Some days I'd take ten and others I wonder why I was entrusted with any at all. But at the end of the day I always thought we'd end up with four.

About seven months after we had our second little boy, we felt it was time to start planning to get our next little bundle here. My last healthy pregnancy took a little over a year and a half to achieve, so we thought if we got started early, we'd actually get pregnant when he was about two years old, which would be perfect. I was also hoping by getting an early start, I'd avoid the feelings of frustration and disappointment that come along with infertility. I'm quickly learning that pregnancy can't be planned- at least not for me.

Once again it was month after month of negative results. We planned on it not happening quickly. I won't bore you with the details of a years worth of infertility treatments, I'll just give a quick glimpse of everything we were going through which eventually led us to part of our decision to attempt IVF. 

From September 2012 to September 2013 I had gone from one dose of Chlomid to double doses of Chlomid and Femera, I had two hysterosalpingogram (HSG) tests, three IUI's, two ruptured cysts,  suffered an ectopic pregnancy which led to laproscopic surgery all while getting pretty regular follicle checks that showed everything looked perfect! I should definitely be able to get pregnant. It was a lot to go through. I don't want anyone to think I'm looking for sympathy by sharing this. IVF is an intense process. It's not only emotionally and physically draining, but its also a huge financial commitment. I feel I have to share what I was experiencing in order for it to be understood why after only a year and a half of rather minor infertility treatments, we decided to take the plunge and give IVF a try.

Another huge factor in our IVF decision was the result of my ectopic pregnancy. In November of 2012 we found out that I was pregnant, but unfortunately it ended up being a tubal pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies can be scary. There isn't a way to save an ectopic pregnancy. It can't turn into a normal pregnancy and if the egg keeps growing in the fallopian tube, it can damage or burst the tube which not only causes more fertility problems, but can also be life threatening. My ectopic was just far enough along, that laproscopy surgery was required. I was in shock that this was happening to me. According to Google only 1-2% of women experience an ectopic pregnancy. I couldn't believe that I was falling into that 1-2%. Luckily everything went well with my surgery- except the fact that it was another pregnancy lost. 

Six months later my second HSG test showed that this same tube was now blocked, most likely due to scar tissue that formed as a result of my surgery. I was told that basically this tube was done. This was a huge disappointment to me. I already have a hard enough time as it is getting pregnant when I'm "normal," but now with only one healthy tube, I felt my chances took a dramatic decrease.

Then in September, on my ten year wedding anniversary (of all days), I had another ruptured cyst. They aren't life threatening by any means, but those little things are painful! So instead of celebrating my anniversary, I spent the day in bed and at the doctors just making sure that's what was causing the pain and not another ectopic pregnancy. My Dr. also reviewed my medical history and she believed that my blocked tube was the only side that was really producing any eggs. I didn't even know that could happen. At that point I was done. Mentally and emotionally. I felt like getting pregnant on my own was sort of a lost cause. However, my Dr. believed I would be the perfect candidate for IVF.

I'm sure anyone that has had to consider IVF knows that it is not a cheap process. Fortunately for us, my husbands insurance at the time covered about half the costs of IVF. It's not very common to come across medical benefits that cover infertility treatments. The only problem was, he was switching jobs at the end of the month so we would only have this insurance for a short time longer. We felt that if in the end, IVF was our best option to get pregnant, it was better to do it now when insurance would help relieve some of the financial burden, than in the future when we wouldn't have this help. We met with our new infertility doctor, who thought at the time that this would be a "slam dunk" for us. I was able to get pregnant in the past, I was still at a good age, and I didn't really have anything medically that she could see that would decrease our chances. My past miscarriages were a little concern, but not huge since they weren't consecutive and I had healthy pregnancies inbetween. I think she said we had a 65% chance of it working out. How could we not give IVF a shot? It seemed at the time an answer to all our infertility problems.  I want another baby so badly it was a no brainer, we had to try.

When we started the whole IVF process we figured it would be a one time deal. We were very optimistic it would work the first time.  We knew we could get pregnant- we have two kids! I never thought I'd end up attempting IVF three times!

I also want to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone that sent me comments and messages. I get so nervous posting about this- mostly because I don't want anyone to think I'm looking for sympathy. So it really meant a lot to me that anyone would take the time to send me words of encouragement. THANK YOU!!