Friday, May 9, 2014

Understanding Your Grief

Today we are lucky to be hearing from Tenille Jensen.  Tenille is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and has also experienced baby loss.  Because of her experience, she is graciously offering a free seminar to those who are suffering.  Please read through to the end of the post for details.

Grieving can be a complicated process. Many who experience loss feel alone and it may seem that no one understands. I know that with my losses I often felt that way. My goal now is to reach out and help grieving people find each other and to offer my professional expertise to help them find peace and hope. First, I will tell you my story of loss.

My husband and I were blissfully expecting our first baby in the spring of 2004. We had no reason to worry--no one close to us had really experienced complications or losses--and we just expected that everything was fine. We learned about halfway through my pregnancy that our baby was not growing at the rate she should. She was diagnosed with Severe Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR). I also began to have pre-eclampsia and was immediately ordered to bed rest. I spent a few weeks on bed rest but then my blood pressure spiked and our baby was delivered 9 weeks early. She was a tiny 1 lb. 5 oz. and we named her Lexie. I spent every moment I could in the NICU, looking back those moments are so precious. After one week full of ups and downs, Lexie got a blood clot in her lungs and returned to heaven. Her short life changed our lives forever.

Almost exactly two years later, we had a healthy baby boy. He brought a lot of joy and healing to us. Two-and-a-half years later, a beautiful baby girl joined our family. At that point, I decided to go back to school. I had always wanted to work in a field where I could help people and I was led to a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. With six months of school left, I found out I was pregnant again. Of course, with each pregnancy I felt nervous because of my first experience but I had gained more confidence with two healthy pregnancies behind me. We had a comprehensive ultrasound at 16 weeks and found that our baby girl's growth was right on track and everything looked good. We breathed a big sigh of relief at that point. At my next appointment, my doctor could not find a heartbeat and we found out that we had lost our baby. Going through the loss of our first baby was almost more than we could handle and I always thought I'd never survive another loss. It's been a little over a year since our baby, Ari, was delivered stillborn and we survived it. It wasn't easy and our lives are not the same as they were before, but one of the best ways I have found meaning in my loss is by connecting with others.



Having experienced two losses myself, I know what a lonely and confusing journey grieving can be. Regardless of what type of loss you have experienced, being with others who have experienced a loss, can help you find peace and hope. This blog Brianna, Heather, Alli and Rachel have created is bringing people together who can read and share in other's experiences and I am honored that they have allowed me to contribute to their cause.

I am currently practicing as a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Swinton Counseling. As part of my quest to help others who are trying to make their way through their loss, I am offering a free grief seminar at my office in Bountiful, Utah. The seminar will be open to all who are seeking understanding and will encompass all types of loss. I will address the questions:
*What is grief and when will it end?
*How do I express my grief?
*What can I do to get the help and understanding I need from friends and family?

I will offer my personal experiences as well as my professional education and expertise to help you begin to understand your grief. I invite you to join me for this seminar where we can learn together. I am keeping the group size small so you can get the most out of the time we spend. Since space is limited, please call or reserve your spot online at http://www.swintoncounseling.com/seminars/.  (When you call or apply online to reserve your spot, please mention you heard about the counseling through our blog.  Thanks guys!)
The first seminar will be Thursday, May 22 at 6:30 pm. I hope to see you there!  
   
Tenille Jensen, LAMFT
(801) 657-5312
Feel free to contact me with any questions.

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