The Long Awaited Visit

Written by Alli

We had the wonderful opportunity to visit Carter's birth mom and her family in April.  It was a trip we had been planning for months and we were all so excited.  Carter's birth mom E hadn't seen Carter since he was born.  We got to Arizona late afternoon on a Friday and E was going to meet us at our hotel.  We had stopped and let Carter pick out some flowers to give her.  I had this picture in my head that she would come into our room, Carter would walk over to her with the flowers and they would hug and she would cry and we would cry.  It would be a great picture taking opportunity and the perfect first meeting.  I was delusional!  Carter was 1 1/2.  Of course that isn't what happened.  E knocked on our door and Carter ran to help me answer it.  As soon as the door opened, he took off into the hallway running as fast as he could.  So E and I were chasing him trying to catch him.  Once we were all safely back in our room, the ice had been broken and we were all laughing and hugging.  E brought her sister with her and we all just sat chatting.  Carter has an obsession with lights, so as long as E was holding him next to the light switch, he would let her hold him.

We followed E and her sister to E's house where the rest of the family was waiting so we could all eat dinner.  The rest of the family was there:  her husband, sister's, nieces, nephews, brother in law, parents, grandma and friends.  A lot of people wanting to see little Carter and smother him with love and kisses.  E gave him some stuffed animals and a bowling set so he could have something to play with.  One of the stuffed animals was a lemur and he has not let it go since she gave it to him.  He has to sleep with it every night.  It is adorable how much he loves that lemur.

One other unique thing is that Paul and E have the same birthday.  So they exchanged gifts while we were there as well.

Carter is a little explorer so he wasn't overwhelmed with all the people.  He played outside with the cousins and he played inside with the aunts.  He played with E's husband and turned lights on and off with E's mom.  We have always felt like one big extended family since the first time we met.  We are very much alike and sitting around the kitchen table with everyone talking and laughing is like second nature.  The night ended too quickly and we went back to the hotel to put Carter to bed.

The next day was E's nephew's baptism.  We got to meet more relatives and enjoy a nice lunch at E's sister's house.  This was one of my favorite parts of the trips.  E took Carter outside and was pulling him in a wagon, and running after him.  I loved seeing just the two of them together having fun.  I wish I would have taken some pictures, but I didn't want to ruin the moment.  I was watching from a distance because I wanted them to have some time alone together.  I wanted them to have memories of their own.  I know Carter is too young to really remember,  but I hope that the stories I tell will be enough for him.

That night we went to dinner with E's whole family.  Carter sat between me and E and we both helped him with dinner.  He was eating off E's plate and she was happy to let him.  I loved that moment too.  After dinner we had to say goodbye to her sister's and their families and her parents.  This was really hard for me.  I started crying and didn't want to leave.  It wasn't long enough.  The trip was too short.  They needed to be able to see Carter more.  I hated that we lived so far away from each other.  We promised we would see each other soon and then the night was over.

The next day we went to breakfast with just E and her husband.  We really felt like old friends by this point.  Breakfast was fun and we took our time talking.  While we were waiting for the food we gave E a gift.  It was letter's from our family telling her how thankful they were she placed Carter with us and how much they loved her.  We didn't want to leave her husband out, so we got him a little something too, although his wasn't nearly as sentimental.  As usual, the time went by too fast and it was time for us to make the trip back to Utah.  We managed to get some pictures before we left and they are pictures I think Carter will treasure.  As we pulled away, I started crying.  I couldn't imagine how E felt saying goodbye to her precious little boy........again.  I knew it had to be hard and I just said a quick prayer that she would be ok.

Open Adoption is hard and emotional at times, but it's all worth it.  We loved this trip to see Carter's birth mom and we wished she lived closer so we could see her more often.  We are truly blessed with the greatest birth mom.  I thank my Heavenly Father every single day for her and hope we get to see her soon.