During my pregnancy with Rainbow Baby A I became very superstitious, and avoided certain practices and/or past times. For example, for the entire pregnancy I wore a pair of February birthstone earrings (month A was due) that my husband, Nate, got me while I was pregnant with Alex (also due in February) that I couldn't bear to take off. I also wore a Tiffany's "bean" necklace that Nate got me for Christmas while I was pregnant with our first daughter... I figured it worked that time. Beyond that I would not announce the pregnancy as I had either of the previous two. I would not start working on the nursery (that ended up being a labor of love on Nate's part) as I had started cleaning it out before and lost Alex two short weeks later. I declined to go on a girls get away that was a long standing tradition because the gestation of my pregnancy, and I couldn't take a chance of a deja vu.
Now I want to make note that I am a logical person, and what I lack in logic I make up for in faith. Neither of which lead me to believe that any of the above would make one ounce of difference in my pregnancy outcomes. That being said, sometimes that all goes out the window when you are terrified of being jinxed. Complete sanity during pregnancy after loss is just a hollow promise or a pipe dream at best.
This pregnancy I have done better with the superstitions. I only have had this one I have been holding on to, and today is the day I conquer it. Approximately four and a half years ago we announced we were pregnant with Demree by having J wear this shirt...
My insides still ache when I see this picture, oh but how I can't help but feel blessed by that smile. Anyways, several months ago I came across this shirt while cleaning some things out. I didn't know what to do with it so I shoved it up in A's closet. Well today I am thirty-three weeks pregnant, and it was time to take this picture... and yes they are full biological sisters. ;)
Milestones are good... even the littlest of ones. ;)
